Hey guys, It’s been a while! there is a reason for that. I’ve been ill, yep! AGAIN. I thought I would talk about how I’ve been feeling lately because I know you lot like reading and relating to my lifestyle posts. It seems that I’m ill more than I am well lately and it’s getting me pretty down. It’s getting me down because I’m missing out on things. Things I enjoy doing the most. Remember that one kid who was always ill at school and had to be always taken out of lesson? Well yeah, I’m now kinda like that kid but in my 20s haha. Having a weakend immune system means I’m at home a lot and yes one of the advantages of blogging is that you can work and make money from home and that’s all fine and dandy until you’re home for too long. There’s only so much you can do.
I wanted to talk about the fear of missing out, that kind of fear you get when you’re in your teens and you feel like you NEED to be apart of anything and everything just so you don’t miss or feel left out. A fear that gradually disappeared but has come back to bite me on the peach! The same fear, but in different situations. So, I’ve been ill for a couple of weeks now and I’ve not been able to do much apart from the odd bits here and there and the worst part of it is, is that I have so much motivation to keep up with my blog but I’m exhausted all the time! The migraines, aches, lethargy, nausea, tummy aches, fevers and endless amounts of antibiotics has taken its toll. It can get really frustrating when people think you’re ok just because you look ok. Some days have been good and I can get up and go do a photo shoot or catch up with a friend but I’m really missing the old me right now. I’ve had to turn down so many amazing opportunities in the last couple of weeks, one being a trip to ST. Tropez! turning down collaborations because I can’t go out and do the photoshoots in time, turning down festival invites, missing out on the opportunity to meet up with some fabulous people and turning down plans with friends, the one that’s effecting me the most. I’m so lucky to have amazing friends who understand my situation and do the best they can to cheer me up (even if it’s just a FaceTime call) but it’s been a long time since I’ve had a day/night out with my friends and it’s bringing back that horrible fear of missing out on the lives of people who are most important to me.
This fear comes with the dreaded A word. Anxiety. Something I was taking control of until things became unsteady again. It’s no fun being stuck at home when you should be out doing amazing things, it can really effect ones emotions. I fear that I will be forgotten, I fear that time is just passing me by, I fear that people will lose interest in my blog because I have haven’t posted in a while, I fear that people will think I’m boring and most of all I fear that I wont be able to do well in the job I truly love doing. I know I’ll be telling myself off for this silly talk as soon as I’m feeling better but this is how I’m feeling right now. I always hear that you should be doing everything you can in your 20s because it’s your prime time and that you’re never going to get those golden years back! I agree, but what about the people who’s lives are on hold? We feel so much pressure to have everything done in our 20’s. We have got to have some positive vibes though right!!? I’m doing my best to focus on getting my health back on track and trying not to worry about what I want to be doing. I’m excited to take on new opportunities because I know amazing opportunities will come back around! and to anyone going through anything similar, just remember… it’s only temporary!
I wanted to add a few words about the jewellery featured in this post and if you have me on Instagram you’ll know I haven’t taken them off yet! The pieces are from JewelStreet, a website that homes over 600 independent jewellery designers. Each piece is carefully made with passion, patience, and attention to detail. The pieces tell an amazing story of their own and they are a perfect gift for a loved one. The prices range from lowest £29 – highest £555,180 and there is a piece for everyone! The gold moon mandala charm ring by Puck Wanderlust I’m wearing caught my eye right away. I love the style and delicate detail of the ring, I haven’t seen one like it before. My favourite however, is the Silver Eclipse necklace and earrings by Murkani , it adds the perfect subtle detail. The earrings are not featured in this post but you can see them here. I love that pieces I picked can be worn all year round from festival season to christmas parties! All items and website are linked below.